Ode to my lost voice

I feel like i have lost my voice , an extension of my body has gone missing , a part of my soul slighted A haven that afforded me the comfort of introspection has been replaced by a cruel emptyness.The days where i took refuge in the comfort of the reassuring blue blood flowing through its veins onto the paper egged on by my thoughts,transforming something visceral into words on paper which could be read and reread. How i wish i could hold you in my hands yet again,how i wish i had my companion on my flights of fantasy back where he belongs close to my heart, secure in our understanding of the world and of each other.

Catch 22

22 , At 22 life somehow takes on proportions that are always overwhelming . Every decision is like a not-so-merry go round , every person you know or talk to seems your friend one instant , your enemy the next . Its like we are at this bridge between a familiar and an unfamiliar end of the river . The familiar end beckons you with open arms while all your heart and body wants is to reach over into the uncertainty of the other side . Its like a death wish that each one of us has had to endure , in fact each one of us has enjoyed the pain of having endured this , but only in hindsight.

22 is the age of playing catch up to a part of you , a person who you dont know and are not even sure that you'll like . Part of you challenges you on the other part depresses you deflates your courage, its like being split apart at the seams of childhood and adulthood. Yet move on you must, we dont have a choice , the decisions start becoming a lot easier to make as the haze starts lifting , as we start adjusting to this new side of the river, to the new smiles and the new language of people around . As we slowly start learning by imitation the whats and blot out the whys that was part of us on the other side of the river .

22 is the age at which i learn't to ask myself the right questions. Its when i got to know how we can tranquilize the raging waters of doubt inside before they engulfed everything thats good in us . 22 is when i learnt that it doesnt take much to have hope inside and the faith that everything will work out fine . Thats when you start trusting only yourself and whats inside you without a care for whatever is going on around you. All that matters is what you think you are made of , the rest as they say is a steaming pile of horse dung .

Aint no sunshine only dim light bulbs

And shes always gone too long anytime she goes away . Dark delivery clouds all over. Is it really the delivery thats so oppressive ? Just about everything seems to be a downward vector .. from dull light bulbs to spitting bull pups to dysfunctional customer service call centers. I just don't feel like trying hard enough of giving it all that i have , don't know why but again the old feeling of wanting to float away rears its head in all its glory . These are the times when the real character filters through , whether there really is the metal inside to get the job done or whether its all really soft as wax that will wash away with the first singe of heat . I dunno but just don't feel like proving myself out here anymore in this city full of dim light bulbs.