I wanted this post to be just like that.. like a dilapidated banner or a signboard bruised and battered by the storms inside my head. No reasons ..just thought would let the mind take me wherever it wants.. aint stopping for spelling not for grammar..i just see white snow all arund right now.. it isnt very cold.. comfortable but the visibility is nothing to write jhome about...i see a child .. my child crouching doubled up in that white snow... face pinched the tears running from her eyes ..huggung herself in desperation ..in desolation ..i am right there but i cant touch her .. i cant feel her i cant take her in my arms and tell her that things are gonna be just alright .. a thousand chains holding me back a thousand horses pulling me apart in all directions..she watches and she cries and its as if the thick glass door between us wont let my screams and her sobs through. I smell food and i hear laughter like a distant TV .. the glass is lifting but whatever i say is coming out garbled.. i have a smirk on my face which i cant explain to myself... and she cant explain to herself. Shall we ? I see two guitars side by side and i know the music will get louder and sweeter only when they mingle into each other .. both merging into a multicolored overcoat...gogols overcoat.. i remember her swollen eyes in the bluish light of the theatre .. the more she cried the tighter she held me.. the more she cries now the more garbled my speech becomes the thicker the glass becomes .. the louder the TV behind me starts blaring... we are back in cocoons struggling fighting for air.. fighting for our wings.. she doesnt know what color wings she wants.. blue ? or black and gold?.. she wants to fly and on her own..i can be her wingman.. not her pilot.. maybe thats what she thinks i am a fighter pilot.... shooting down friendlies to boost my kills .. to add feathers to my cap.... who knows maybe i am a fighter pilot after all .. a coward who turns and shoots at his own for easy pickings...maybe i'll just bail out and float for a while .. chute down nice and slow.. feel the wind on my face.. maybe that will improve my speech maybe that will thaw the ice.. my chute is held by the silk of her hair.. she packed my chute for me .. but i wanna bungee jump.. her hair wont take the strain.. but do i listen? i never listen do i ?
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